Vitality
by Bibliophile of the Lotus
Summary: Alec is the lonely AIDS patient struggling to get by. Wanting to save his lived ones from grief, he left his life behind to spend the rest of his days alone. Magnus is the unlikely friend who saves Alec from himself and teaches him the joys of living.


**Alec's Point of View:**

Have you ever felt such desperation that you have to leave everyone and everything close to you? Leave everything familiar behind and start anew? To become a new person?

I never thought I would be one of those teenagers you hear about on the news who run away from perfectly happy, loving families.

I also never thought I'd be dying, everyday a victory over my sickness, the disease that burns within me.

That has been my life for the last few years. Every passing day a victory, but for what? To live a half life is worse than no life at all yet that is my existence now, and I have come to terms with it.

I am a threat to everyone and am best off not forming ties.

I hold a thin stack of papers over my head as I hurry out of the rain. I stare at the ground as I walk away from my fifty-third job rejection. What was I thinking? What employer in their right mind would want to hire a twenty-three year old with only a slew of part-time jobs frying burgers and selling gum on his resume?

Defeated, I hurry with my head down to find shelter from the rain. I was clearly suffering a string of bad luck because I overlooked the steps leading down to the subway station even though I was clearly staring straight at them.

Luckily, it was around 1:45 in the afternoon and there weren't too many people around to witness my humiliation. Unfortunately, a nice little puddle of murky water had gathered at the base of the steps and I happened to land right in the middle on it.

I guess I went a little crazy then and instead of pulling myself out of the mud, I decided to turn over and lie on my back, therefore coating myself with yet more mud. Surprisingly, no one walked by. Or at least I didn't notice anyone walk by. My mental state was not entirely stable by this point.

"Whoa there, are you okay?" A handsome face with uniquely oriental features appeared. If only there was enough depth to the puddle so that I could drown myself and avoid any subsequent embarrassment.

"You should be more careful," he continues, "I almost stepped on you. I have no issue with people taking naps in public, I'm quite prone to that myself, but I think stepping on you would have been an unpleasant experience for both of us."

I think by that point I could easily camouflage before a fire truck.

When I made no notion to get up, he reached out a hand. "Rough day? It happens to the best of us."

He clearly wasn't going to leave me alone so I grasped his hand and allowed myself to be pulled into a standing position. My skin tingled when our palms made contact.

Green cat eyes studied my pathetic, soiled form, probably judging me. Most people judge; it's human nature to judge others and find their flaws. Oh, but such beautiful eyes. So mesmerizing, with such depth to them. Eyes belonging to a person with a full life.

The man kept talking, "I'm Magnus. My apartment's only two blocks from here. You look like you could use some Magnus Magic in your life."

And without waiting for my reply he carted me off to his apartment.

* * *

His apartment was a nice place. It was big, but not so big as to be a waste of resources. It was big enough to be spacey but small enough to be cozy. The walls were covered in bright, abstract designs and somehow, it suited him.

Here was someone respectable in society, unlike myself with my tiny roach infested place with the kitchen, bathroom and bedroom all in one room. Sans living room.

"Shower's over there. I'll bring you a change of clothes too." He gestured offhandedly towards a closed door.

"You really don't have to," I started, "I really should just go home."

"Nonsense. You're clearly having a bad day and I know from experience that the worst thing is being alone and wallowing in your self-pity. This is non-negotiable."

There are a great deal of things that make me uncomfortable, and contaminating someone else's shower pretty much tops the list. But when he saw that I didn't move, he threatened to pick me up and dump me in the shower himself.

That got me moving pretty fast.

True to his word, he did leave me clothing on the counter. Something about him made me uncomfortable, though. He liked to pry and I liked to stick to myself. There's only ever going to be one person on my side and that's me. My lifestyle made it difficult to get attached to people and that was how I preferred it to be.

I kept my eyes downcast as I stepped out of the bathroom, muddy clothes in hand. He was lounging on his couch, swirling around a glass of wine. "Thanks for letting me use your shower. I'll be going now. I'm really busy."

He arched one eyebrow, "So busy that you lie in a puddle at a metro station? Well if you must go, take an umbrella. I have more than enough on the shelf over there. It's still raining and those flimsy papers you had just won't do."

Wordlessly, I nodded my thanks and slipped out the door.

My life is far from ideal, yet it is the ideal I've grown accustomed too. I never thought I'd be one of those people who have to plead with their landlords for a roof over their heads for just one more day, but here I am now, on my knees, begging my landlord for leniency. It is futile though; leniency is something I have already been granted one too many times and by midnight, I am expected to have vacated my room to a paying customer.

I end up spending the night on the roof of my former room. The view of the city is beautiful from some places, but the view I see right now is so desolate and hopeless. It's hard to believe such ugliness can exist within such beauty but such is society and I, like so many others, will be overlooked by those seeking beauty.

But really, there is nothing beautiful about the world.

Not to me, not any more.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Yay depressing fic time. **

**I hope this isn't too confusing. I'm trying to convey Alec's sense of loneliness, hence why Alec never calls or thinks about names. Magnus' name appears once because he's introducing himself. Alec's thoughts are meant to convey his feelings of hopelessness and borderline depression. He doesn't speak much and what few words he does said are said in a brief way, to show his sense of urgency and not wanting to spend too much time close to someone. I used the word "contaminating" to show how Alec sees no self worth in himself. A lot of his thoughts are reflective and it's not him being self-pitying, just him reflecting on how pathetic his life is. Yet, the line about Magnus' eyes is to show how he stills covets beauty, despite having none of it in his life.**

**Alec's a pretty screwed up character.**

**I promise this story isn't just Alec being all "woe is me". This chapter's pretty short, but it's more reflective than anything so I can set a basis of who Alec is. Usually my chapters are twice as long. **

**Disclaimer: No I don't own The Mortal Instruments.**

**Oh I'm looking for a beta so if anyone's interested leave a review or a PM so we can discuss.**

**Leave a review and let me know what you thought!~**


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